I guess this blog thing takes a bit of time. I'm a bit sad that no one commented on my post, but I am new here so people probably don't know about it yet.
I spoke with a friend about my post and she felt it was good, but a little harsh. I was surprised to hear that, since I didn't even curse once in it! I know my thoughts won't always be accepted by others, but the point of the blog is to have a place to share my ideas with minimal censorship and get feedback from others on how they are getting through life. I'm fairly certain that I'm not the only one wondering how to get stuff done while holding down a full time job and full time family. I am almost positive that I am not the only one that wonders if the grass truly is greener on the other side...
One of the other things I have been thinking about lately is how to structure a day without work. After housework and making sure the kids are fed and cleaned, what do people do to fill their day? With a newborn, it's pretty straight forward, but with a toddler, it's harder. They need a lot more stimulation and activities to fill the day. How did our parents do this? I'm trying to remember what I did as a child and I remember playing on my own a lot. My siblings were older and I entertained myself. My mom didn't do as much playing with me as I feel I do with my child. But, I can't really rely on my memory for that sort of stuff.
I feel like some people just have a gift for raising children. The whole maternal thing just come naturally to them and for those of us that aren't so instinctual, that's frustrating. So, that's my question for the universe: What does a day in a stay at home mom's life look like?
I am a working mom with toddler girls and I struggle everyday with my decision. First of all I think...well we enjoy two incomes...but do we need all the stuff it buys? Maybe we should downside our house and move to a more affordable area and then I could stay at home. Then again, I do like the stimulation of my job. The fact that I am needed, have responsibility and earn a paycheck. That affords me some autonomy, that I know I can take care of myself. I am rambling but I don't think there is a right answer. I have always said I wish the week were 10 days...so I could work full time but yet have the same amount of time with the kids. You might suggest that I work part time...but then you are "mommy tracked" at work and have to give up extra responsibility, etc. In any event, keep writing...I am interested to what you and others have to stay. I am contemplating becoming a stay at home mom...so maybe you can figure it all about before I join your ranks :)
ReplyDeleteHello! Thanks for your comment. I have also thought about part-time work, but I feel like it's more "work" than it's worth. I, too, worry about being "mommy-tracked" and given the lesser jobs to do, which is pointless to me. Plus, there's always those co-workers who chose not to have a family and feel that you are getting preferntial treatment because you are part time. It almost seems better to stay home full time when you look at it from that perspective.
ReplyDeleteIt's a terrible decision, especially right now with the economy so volatile. I have my days when I want to purge our entire house of all non-essentials and live as lean as possible. Then, there are days when I think, how am I going to fit another child in this house?? But, you are right, there really isn't a black & white, right answer. The only answer is what we think is best for ourselves and our families. Which is why I am so interested to hear how others are doing this, both stay at home moms and working moms.
I am going to keep writing, thanks for the encouragement! I hope you keep reading and commenting, it's nice to know people are out there.
I know it's my 3rd post, but I wanted to tell you two things. First of all, I was part-time for all of mommyhood right up until summer 2010. I'm a new full-time sahm. The biggest adjustment is the money, for sure. I was fortunate to have a job where p/t was completely acceptable and I made a nice amount per hour. For only working a few hours a week, my $ really only went to food but now I rarely have more than a couple of dollars in my pocket. I know it's a good thing bc I spend less, but it's hard to go into a store and get only and exactly what you need with $9. We only have one check card so I do have to say we talk about money and budget more often now; def a good thing!
ReplyDeleteThe second thing I meant to tell you is don't forget to get down on the floor and play with your kids. It's really ok to leave the dishes in the sink for a little playtime. It's important for both of you!
I've always been a structuring, scheduling mom. It worked for us. I used to schedule in this order: naps, meals, playdates/times, errands, cleaning bc naps were my rest times, too. I used to write down schedules. As the matter of fact, I just found one that I must have written when my first was just a baby - 7 or so years ago. Remember I wrote on your first post about things you'll treasure? I'm so glad you're writing a blog - if you keep up with it and look back in 8 or so years, you'll treasure it, too!
I'm glad to see you're meal-planning, too. That's def a part of gaining and maintaining balance. Keep it up, sounds like you're doing great!